roughentumble | Witcher/Steven Universe Fusion Follow Up Idea (Reply)

if geralt and jaskier steven universe fused i think that

ok wait i think i need to present my evidence before my conclusion

ok so jaskier everyone thinks of as a prissy vain man, and he is, but they also think of him as the one constantly ushering geralt into baths and being fastidious about cleanliness, and based on dandelion i dont think that’s true. i cant for the life of me find the source but i SWEAR i’ve seen canon passages that basically out and out say that dandelion is a lazy little bastard who will skip baths and cover it up with more cologne. and honestly i think it just makes him more interesting, in that way that the witcher likes to flip expectations, so you ASSUME that a man who is like jaskier would be very clean, but instead he is a little gremlin and he does not want to/it doesnt occur to him(lazy, but also he is BUSY writing SONGS, no time for baths when there is inspiration!)

and then you have geralt, who is definitely a lot more cleanly than he is given credit for, both in-universe and out. we have lines in the games where vesemir(lovingly) pokes fun at him for being a “city boy” who cant stand a little grime, the canon Rub-A-Dub-Dub Geralt In A Tub, and while he has a pretty low standard for how he’s treated and a high bar for what he’ll put up with for his job, he generally doesnt Like being filthy. reportedly stinks of horse, but he also rides one all day. so cleaner boy geralt who bathes when necessary/available and knows how to luxuriate in a nice bath, is what youre thinking, BUT

he ALSO is pretty. hmm. depressed. he is Not in a good place mentally, most of the time, if not all of it. and that! tends to make it pretty difficult! to do basic maintenance tasks on your body! like brushing and washing and the like.

so i think that if they steven universe fused they wouldnt be the most frequent bather out there. they dont reek or anything, but jaskier’s inattentiveness about it and geralt’s bouts of depression making the motivation to care for the self difficult to maintain, sort of all collides into a Worst Case Scenario. once theyre IN a bath it is a whole Thing, it is a Production, they will be in there at LEAST an hour, scrubbing clean and feeling more human and relaxing in the warm water. but. until then…

#my opinion. i think they adhdepression themself out of baths because. is hard.....

(this isnt an "excuse to make them smell" post or anything weird like that its an adhdepression 'same hat' post where i. in a roundabout way. say i think we would have similar problems)