Sweet Cheeks?

i still think you could make a geraskier story outta the lindworm tale

#and it would be both cool and funny as hell #geralt is the monster fighter who hears about all this and. when the king and queen beg. he sighs in a very put upon way #and agrees to help #and jaskier is this nasty worm prince who slithers and wants to eatfuck his new husband(hes a worm he isnt picky abt gender) #but then the night is over his layers are shed and he’s a Shiny New Human with Wide Eyed Appreciation For The World!!! #WOW did you know walking upright is WEIRD!!!! you dont have to worry NEARLY as much about sharp rocks!!! #he’s suddenly a lot less interested in being a prince #he’s like i wanna abdicate Right Now and go Explore The World can i tag along mr husband? #(geralt: no. jaskier: pleeeeaassseeee i really want to *puppy dog eyes*) #hes a bit wide-eyed and naive abt some stuff and is Entranced with the Beauty Of The World now he’s not a wormyguy #(rdj meme voice: he is entranced by the beauty of the world now he’s not a wormyguy) #and he is DETERMINED to follow geralt around. and his parents are actually cool w/ him abdicating cuz like #he spent all that time as a lindworm they did NOT train him to run a kingdom. he had no tutors. he would not know what to do #his personality’s done a total 180 he’s very cheery now #and dammit all. geralt. begrudgingly. kind of likes the annoying lil guy. #and they COULD get the marriage annulled and geralt TOTALLY PLANS TO ok it was a marriage for the sake of contract fulfillment #but. well. i mean. time gets away from them and….. the ex-prince who now fancies himself a bard isnt AWFUL company….. #and then a couple years down the line they have a REAL ceremony with a perfectly normal amount of clothes removal afterword

[...]

cured lindworm!jaskier missing his articulated ribs

#''it made swallowing so much EASIER'' he moans dejectedly after the third time that week of geralt performing the heimlich #when jaskier got a little too enthusiastic about a chicken wing

i still think about the idea of alien scientist geralt who came to earth to study the wildlife before any true first contact. he’s not doing it for any nefarious purpose but he is collecting earth leaves to send as samples back to his homeworld. he has strong feelings about species that are going extinct because he just got here, and there hasnt been time to learn about them or catalogue them yet

Tags: [#like this is a mission he's been given and its given to him specifically #becuz he's good at being elusive and spending long periods of time alone and he's got a real passion for ecology #but at the same time he's strong enough to stand up for himself if something goes awry and he's spotted #he isnt the most diplomatic but whatever youll never get the perfect employee #and maybe the aliens arent sure what to think of humans. still figuring out how sentient they are. still figuring out if they want contact #but geralt isnt rly interested in people. YET anyway #he's interested in deer and blackberries and how poison ivy works and how many species of ticks there are]

(i should move these over in chronological order or something for simplicity but i like this one so everyone has to look at it)