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Jul. 12th, 2023 10:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
roughentumblegeralt as an intergalactic bounty hunter type, his ship is kind of a clunker so he touches down on the closest populated planet out in the boondocks of the known inhabited universe to do a little maintenance and maybe pick up a contract or two.
he bumps into a creature he’s never seen before, and the universal translator in his ear struggles on some of its speech, but he gets that it’s name is jaskier.
turns out the planet is someplace called “earth”, and it’s filled with all sorts of beings called “people”, and it’s so out-of-the-way no one’d ever bothered to land on it before. after a series of mishaps, geralt begrudingly admits to himself the little earthling is growing on him, and he offers jaskier a ride, which he excitedly accepts, and the two ride off into space together
Tags: [#surprise! geralt was the alien not jaskier #the story could be either from jaskier's pov or geralt's pov idc. i just wanted to write the post like this for a Twist or whatever #idk. is this something? i cant tell. my day's been kinda empty #just woke up and sat in one spot #so im trying to put something in it. you know?]
[...]
this is soft sci-fi btw i dont wanna think too hard about how universal translators work or whatever every planet would have breathable-to-humans atmosphere
Tags: [#sometimes geralt grumbles about a lack of outreach programs for the more remote planets #hes like. if they wanna be left alone then leave them alone but they should get a CHOICE. #your little planet got overlooked for centuries and now look at you!! still using datapads with proprietary OSes and no universal data jack #and jaskier is like we call them iPhones. #and geralt's like see? thats the problem. you kids and your iPhone datapads. #picture geralt as alien as you like #my first instinct was ''inhumanly pale skin a few too many eyes a pair of horns maybe'' but im not married to it]
[...]
the reason he’s all “hmm"s at the beginning of their friendship is because he has two Very Old And Wonky Devices; one that translates incoming speech so he understands it(a universal translator in his ear), and a device that he uses on poorer/more remote planets where people dont have universal translators which translates his speech into the local language.
the one in his ear, he eventually manages to download an english dictionary onto so he understands jaskier. but the outgoing device is older, shittier, and needs specific pre-loaded packs to function, so he CANT just download english onto it. so jaskier straight up wouldn’t understand him anyway, so he just "hmm"s.
jaskier is SHOCKED when he gets his own universal translator and he hears geralt say "FINALLY we can have an actual conversation.” jaskier’s like WHAT i thought you were just taciturn!!!!!!
Tags: [#the outgoing device he sets to a language he thinks sounds similar to english #so it occasionally spits out words/sentences that make sense to jaskier but its rough going #and the incoming device does something similar until he updates it. so its garbled and full of feedback but sometimes he can work stuff out #but he's still very amused by this brightly-colored thing that talks a mile a minute about stuff he does not at all understand #he's used to them being on the fritz or only half-working anyway he doesnt have a lot of money #and he jumps around star-systems on the outskirts of society pretty often.]
[...]
(thats not going back on my word im not thinking about How universal translators work, im just thinking about funny ways they can be worked into the story)
[next post]
meanwhile jaskier is having the time of his LIFE with this first encounter, he’s so excited. he’s ready for adventure, he wants to see the stars! aliens actually exist holy shit!!!! and this one is tall and sexy and kind oooo!!!!!! completely shocking whirlwind day for jaskier. he brings his iPhone but quickly goes out of range for earth’s wifi 😔
Tags: [#he's a little dazed by the time he goes to bed. he wakes up regretting everything. then five minutes later he's back on board again and #hoping aliens have the concept of pancakes because he has a craving and a desire to start the day right with a hearty breakfast. #geralt watches his mini-existential crisis like. what the fuck is wrong with humans. or is mine broken??? weird]
[next post]
hold on thinking about untranslateable words in universal translators and what if they just didnt translate them. like you just suddenly heard a bit of the original language being spoken.
like, ennui is a loan word– it’s french. what if english(and other languages) just started gaining loan words from all over the galaxy, because the translators were bumping into untranslatable concepts?
Tags: [#talking about skwiftor becomes as common as talking about deja vu #like you learn what ennui is by hearing it a few times and having the meaning explained and then you just. start to understand #you know???? #this should at least be an optional setting in universal translator devices. #some people are adamant that this is the most organic way to experience the universe while still optimizing accessibility and communication]
[...]
one setting for universal translators is to attempt to create new words in the target language by combining two or more old words in a way that’s instantly understandable, when faced with an untranslatable word or a new concept. the algorithm is a little fucky, but mostly somehow it does create words you can quickly intuit the meaning of, but then these start to enter common parlance between people who use that setting on their devices. language purists insist that the growth of language should not be shaped by the algorithms of translation devices instead of the natural speech patterns of the language’s speakers, but no matter how much it Should or Shouldn’t happen, it does anyway and there’s only so much that can be done to stop these words from gaining traction, especially when most people dont care either way.
[...]
but also not THAT many people use the setting because, as stated, its a little fucky, and it kind of takes some getting used to, so most just dont bother. the introduction of these new words is very slow-going, and some fizzle out before they make much impact on the language at large.
Tags: [#like most people just use the loan word setting or the dictionary setting #(i.e. the original word no explanation VS. the original word plus definition) #there's a fourth setting thats like #it makes the word sound as close to the original as possible using sounds found in the listener's language+ definition. #which helps for languages that use a lot of screeching]
[...]
the devices also like to hop to the nearest concept when they can. if you dont have a word for [alien job], it might get translated as [bounty hunter] despite not being a 1-to-1 comparison, which can lead to some confusion when folks cant tell if you’re saying “bounty hunter”(specific) or “bounty hunter”(general).
[...]
music purists INSIST that it’s practically sacrilege to keep your translator on during a song
Tags: [#those arent the original lyrics!!!! and youre not hearing the singer's ACTUAL voice!!! #and you cant hear the rhyme scheme!!!! #and the untranslatable concepts make it clunky!!!! #you HAVE to listen to it how it was MEANT to be heard!!! #theres even ''music mode'' on some devices that automatically turns off for music]
[...]
i dont care to think about how universal translators Actually Work but it is fun to think about how they could cause problems or make people pedantic
Tags: [#how would they simulate your partner's voice? what about picking up multiple background conversations? #*kronk voice* by all accounts it doesnt make sense #but its FUN to think about pedantry]
[next series of posts]
alternately geralt lands on this lil out of the way planet and nasa had obviously seen his ship coming so they do this whole first contact thing, while geralt smacks his old translator around trying to get it to work with english, and becomes incredibly, instantly beleaguered when he realizes he is inadvertently the first ambassador for this planet.
Tags: [#the story's focus is very quickly on geralt getting out of these duties he's just a middleman #he lands on the planet. goes oh fuck no one ever found you before. makes some phone calls. #and then lets everyone else deal with it. #but it's still time out of his week and theyre long distance calls(boooo) so it takes a while to get a response #and earthlings have lots of questions(ugh)]
[...]
outer rim outreach is a JOKE, the council missed this planet for fucking YEARS. years!!!! they have been evolving down here for so long!!! and now i have to take time out of my schedule for it when all i needed was a carburetor and a few spare credits earned from some small paying job. and you just know for a fact as soon as these guys step into federation space someone’s gonna try and take em for a ride since they only speak planet-side languages, nothing common or universal. the outreach program is. a. joke!!!! look at what i have to do because none of you are doing your jobs!!! –geralt, thoroughly fed up and extremely irritated that he once more has to do something that is Not His Job.
[...]
he has to go find a contact on the federation’s central hub who actually knows the procedure to get these guys introduced to the council, and arrange a meeting, and impress upon them that they are not to sign anything until either 1) a council member learns a majority earth language AND an earth representative learns either basic or the council member’s native language well enough for the both of them to converse OR 2) until there’s an earth language pack crafted for universal translators that is up to galactic code regulations, he stresses that part so hard because he knows those cheap fuckers will outsource it and then this poor lil backwater planet will end up signing a document while using translation software riddled with errors that’ll lead to a complete clusterfuck of their rights as they agree to join federation space, and it’s all such a fucking hassle of paperwork and he hates that he even has to think about it. he is making so many long distance calls begging people to come take over so he doesnt have to do anymore paperwork when he gets back than he already has to. no he doesnt want a medal or a commemorative plaque or a five minute pre-written speech, he doesnt need any stupid novelties he just wants to get back to work, stars above
Tags: [#he is sooooo done]
[...]
he does, thankfully, manage to expedite the process of handing over this mess to an actual ambassador, but wow in the meantime it is SO annoying. he definitely feels for this planet, and hates the idea of anyone taking advantage of their relative naiveté, has very strong feelings about their rights and how they should be treated, but that doesnt really mean that he wants to be the one presenting them to the council or doing all the paperwork
Tags: [#he's in way over his head man he doesnt want any of this]
[...]
also btw obsessed w/ the idea that jaskier is just some guy. like nasa and the government have put together all these ambassadors and highly specialized teams and theyre trying to ~commune~ with this new visitor from the stars, and linguists want to talk to him and sociologists and for whatever reason when he goes back to the central hub he needs to bring a human with him so they produce all these stellar candidates, and. for some reason, through crazy random happenstance, jaskier is just. a guy. he’s just some dude. there on accident. but he’s also the only one who is enamored by geralt BUT isnt treating him like a monster or like he’s some Monumentous Occasion, so geralt likes talking to him best. and out of all the highly qualified options he just picks this random guy. like *looks at the lineup* uhhhhhhh what about that guy *points to jaskier*
its like if an alien came down to earth and was like. hmm. i dont care about these guys(brilliant scientists). i want to talk to steve the janitor
he bumps into a creature he’s never seen before, and the universal translator in his ear struggles on some of its speech, but he gets that it’s name is jaskier.
turns out the planet is someplace called “earth”, and it’s filled with all sorts of beings called “people”, and it’s so out-of-the-way no one’d ever bothered to land on it before. after a series of mishaps, geralt begrudingly admits to himself the little earthling is growing on him, and he offers jaskier a ride, which he excitedly accepts, and the two ride off into space together
Tags: [#surprise! geralt was the alien not jaskier #the story could be either from jaskier's pov or geralt's pov idc. i just wanted to write the post like this for a Twist or whatever #idk. is this something? i cant tell. my day's been kinda empty #just woke up and sat in one spot #so im trying to put something in it. you know?]
[...]
this is soft sci-fi btw i dont wanna think too hard about how universal translators work or whatever every planet would have breathable-to-humans atmosphere
Tags: [#sometimes geralt grumbles about a lack of outreach programs for the more remote planets #hes like. if they wanna be left alone then leave them alone but they should get a CHOICE. #your little planet got overlooked for centuries and now look at you!! still using datapads with proprietary OSes and no universal data jack #and jaskier is like we call them iPhones. #and geralt's like see? thats the problem. you kids and your iPhone datapads. #picture geralt as alien as you like #my first instinct was ''inhumanly pale skin a few too many eyes a pair of horns maybe'' but im not married to it]
[...]
the reason he’s all “hmm"s at the beginning of their friendship is because he has two Very Old And Wonky Devices; one that translates incoming speech so he understands it(a universal translator in his ear), and a device that he uses on poorer/more remote planets where people dont have universal translators which translates his speech into the local language.
the one in his ear, he eventually manages to download an english dictionary onto so he understands jaskier. but the outgoing device is older, shittier, and needs specific pre-loaded packs to function, so he CANT just download english onto it. so jaskier straight up wouldn’t understand him anyway, so he just "hmm"s.
jaskier is SHOCKED when he gets his own universal translator and he hears geralt say "FINALLY we can have an actual conversation.” jaskier’s like WHAT i thought you were just taciturn!!!!!!
Tags: [#the outgoing device he sets to a language he thinks sounds similar to english #so it occasionally spits out words/sentences that make sense to jaskier but its rough going #and the incoming device does something similar until he updates it. so its garbled and full of feedback but sometimes he can work stuff out #but he's still very amused by this brightly-colored thing that talks a mile a minute about stuff he does not at all understand #he's used to them being on the fritz or only half-working anyway he doesnt have a lot of money #and he jumps around star-systems on the outskirts of society pretty often.]
[...]
(thats not going back on my word im not thinking about How universal translators work, im just thinking about funny ways they can be worked into the story)
[next post]
meanwhile jaskier is having the time of his LIFE with this first encounter, he’s so excited. he’s ready for adventure, he wants to see the stars! aliens actually exist holy shit!!!! and this one is tall and sexy and kind oooo!!!!!! completely shocking whirlwind day for jaskier. he brings his iPhone but quickly goes out of range for earth’s wifi 😔
Tags: [#he's a little dazed by the time he goes to bed. he wakes up regretting everything. then five minutes later he's back on board again and #hoping aliens have the concept of pancakes because he has a craving and a desire to start the day right with a hearty breakfast. #geralt watches his mini-existential crisis like. what the fuck is wrong with humans. or is mine broken??? weird]
[next post]
hold on thinking about untranslateable words in universal translators and what if they just didnt translate them. like you just suddenly heard a bit of the original language being spoken.
like, ennui is a loan word– it’s french. what if english(and other languages) just started gaining loan words from all over the galaxy, because the translators were bumping into untranslatable concepts?
Tags: [#talking about skwiftor becomes as common as talking about deja vu #like you learn what ennui is by hearing it a few times and having the meaning explained and then you just. start to understand #you know???? #this should at least be an optional setting in universal translator devices. #some people are adamant that this is the most organic way to experience the universe while still optimizing accessibility and communication]
[...]
one setting for universal translators is to attempt to create new words in the target language by combining two or more old words in a way that’s instantly understandable, when faced with an untranslatable word or a new concept. the algorithm is a little fucky, but mostly somehow it does create words you can quickly intuit the meaning of, but then these start to enter common parlance between people who use that setting on their devices. language purists insist that the growth of language should not be shaped by the algorithms of translation devices instead of the natural speech patterns of the language’s speakers, but no matter how much it Should or Shouldn’t happen, it does anyway and there’s only so much that can be done to stop these words from gaining traction, especially when most people dont care either way.
[...]
but also not THAT many people use the setting because, as stated, its a little fucky, and it kind of takes some getting used to, so most just dont bother. the introduction of these new words is very slow-going, and some fizzle out before they make much impact on the language at large.
Tags: [#like most people just use the loan word setting or the dictionary setting #(i.e. the original word no explanation VS. the original word plus definition) #there's a fourth setting thats like #it makes the word sound as close to the original as possible using sounds found in the listener's language+ definition. #which helps for languages that use a lot of screeching]
[...]
the devices also like to hop to the nearest concept when they can. if you dont have a word for [alien job], it might get translated as [bounty hunter] despite not being a 1-to-1 comparison, which can lead to some confusion when folks cant tell if you’re saying “bounty hunter”(specific) or “bounty hunter”(general).
[...]
music purists INSIST that it’s practically sacrilege to keep your translator on during a song
Tags: [#those arent the original lyrics!!!! and youre not hearing the singer's ACTUAL voice!!! #and you cant hear the rhyme scheme!!!! #and the untranslatable concepts make it clunky!!!! #you HAVE to listen to it how it was MEANT to be heard!!! #theres even ''music mode'' on some devices that automatically turns off for music]
[...]
i dont care to think about how universal translators Actually Work but it is fun to think about how they could cause problems or make people pedantic
Tags: [#how would they simulate your partner's voice? what about picking up multiple background conversations? #*kronk voice* by all accounts it doesnt make sense #but its FUN to think about pedantry]
[next series of posts]
alternately geralt lands on this lil out of the way planet and nasa had obviously seen his ship coming so they do this whole first contact thing, while geralt smacks his old translator around trying to get it to work with english, and becomes incredibly, instantly beleaguered when he realizes he is inadvertently the first ambassador for this planet.
Tags: [#the story's focus is very quickly on geralt getting out of these duties he's just a middleman #he lands on the planet. goes oh fuck no one ever found you before. makes some phone calls. #and then lets everyone else deal with it. #but it's still time out of his week and theyre long distance calls(boooo) so it takes a while to get a response #and earthlings have lots of questions(ugh)]
[...]
outer rim outreach is a JOKE, the council missed this planet for fucking YEARS. years!!!! they have been evolving down here for so long!!! and now i have to take time out of my schedule for it when all i needed was a carburetor and a few spare credits earned from some small paying job. and you just know for a fact as soon as these guys step into federation space someone’s gonna try and take em for a ride since they only speak planet-side languages, nothing common or universal. the outreach program is. a. joke!!!! look at what i have to do because none of you are doing your jobs!!! –geralt, thoroughly fed up and extremely irritated that he once more has to do something that is Not His Job.
[...]
he has to go find a contact on the federation’s central hub who actually knows the procedure to get these guys introduced to the council, and arrange a meeting, and impress upon them that they are not to sign anything until either 1) a council member learns a majority earth language AND an earth representative learns either basic or the council member’s native language well enough for the both of them to converse OR 2) until there’s an earth language pack crafted for universal translators that is up to galactic code regulations, he stresses that part so hard because he knows those cheap fuckers will outsource it and then this poor lil backwater planet will end up signing a document while using translation software riddled with errors that’ll lead to a complete clusterfuck of their rights as they agree to join federation space, and it’s all such a fucking hassle of paperwork and he hates that he even has to think about it. he is making so many long distance calls begging people to come take over so he doesnt have to do anymore paperwork when he gets back than he already has to. no he doesnt want a medal or a commemorative plaque or a five minute pre-written speech, he doesnt need any stupid novelties he just wants to get back to work, stars above
Tags: [#he is sooooo done]
[...]
he does, thankfully, manage to expedite the process of handing over this mess to an actual ambassador, but wow in the meantime it is SO annoying. he definitely feels for this planet, and hates the idea of anyone taking advantage of their relative naiveté, has very strong feelings about their rights and how they should be treated, but that doesnt really mean that he wants to be the one presenting them to the council or doing all the paperwork
Tags: [#he's in way over his head man he doesnt want any of this]
[...]
also btw obsessed w/ the idea that jaskier is just some guy. like nasa and the government have put together all these ambassadors and highly specialized teams and theyre trying to ~commune~ with this new visitor from the stars, and linguists want to talk to him and sociologists and for whatever reason when he goes back to the central hub he needs to bring a human with him so they produce all these stellar candidates, and. for some reason, through crazy random happenstance, jaskier is just. a guy. he’s just some dude. there on accident. but he’s also the only one who is enamored by geralt BUT isnt treating him like a monster or like he’s some Monumentous Occasion, so geralt likes talking to him best. and out of all the highly qualified options he just picks this random guy. like *looks at the lineup* uhhhhhhh what about that guy *points to jaskier*
its like if an alien came down to earth and was like. hmm. i dont care about these guys(brilliant scientists). i want to talk to steve the janitor